Dear Clown at the Circus,

Yo disrespectfully fuck you you fucking clown ass bitch. Sorry I had to do that for baby me. Why you gotta make fun of my big feet like that? I WAS 2 and I still remember it to this day. You asked me why I stole your shoes because “you were wearing mine and I was wearing yours.” Its funny kinda because I am BARELY 5’2 and I have a size 8.5 shoe. So, yes I have pretty big feet, but you know what they say about big feet ;). Big hands! I am not gonna lie to you though I think this is when my anxiety started. If you follow my page you will soon find out how anxious of a child I was. I still am, but now I am an anxious grown ass adult.

Like I always was insecure about my damn feet after that. Which is weird because I absolutely HATE feet ask anyone. Respectfully if I see you and you are doing your job being funny to little kids and making them laugh I will still hit you. I am now not terrified of clowns, but angry with them. Imagine how I felt during the clown apocalypse thing. I hated every second. I really thought if I saw a clown I was picking a fight. Which I would not. You know why? Cuz I am an anxious little bitch. I would turn my ass around and go home and cry and have a whole panic attack. So, please do not try to prank me or anything with clown costumes. I am literally just a girl with some crippling anxiety.

So, disrespectfully you’re a meanie. As my 2 year old self would say if she could talk. I don’t know if I did but I am sure I wasn’t saying full ass sentences.

disrespectfully ,

maddy hess