Dear Lord Voldemort,

Hello there. I hate you. You caused me the biggest nightmares of my childhood. You are the reason I was that one weird kid that didn’t read or watch harry potter. You gave me a fear my nose was going to disappear like yours did. I also thought you were gonna kill me in the middle of the night. I was 5. Nowadays I just hate you because well you’re kind of annoying. I just wanted to say thank you for being my biggest fear as a kid. I realized my one ex was a lot like you a few years ago and blocked him right then and there. That realization was enough for me to say ew no bye. So thanks for that I guess you ugly son of a bitch. Yall kinda look alike too.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest mr. no nose. I was more scared of you than the giant Elmo at my second birthday. I was terrified of that Elmo btw.

Also you need to hire a better stylist you look like youre in a potato sack and youre just not cute so you don’t pull it off at all.

I hope you have a miserable life.

the one who was terrified of you, Maddy hess

ps this is no hate to the actor of the movies or to the books they’re amazing. this is just satire