Dear Marionette Dolls,
Marionette dolls are just humans that have been turned into haunted puppet dolls by their Ventriloquists. Who are secretly dark witches. They probably pissed them off and they were just like *poof* you are a doll that I put my hand up. They are making one giant army of small evil wooden people. I swear.
I mean one day they may even take over the world. Who knows? Robots too.
Puppet dolls have traumatized me since before I can even remember. It has been ever since that one episode of GooseBumps. The one with that doll in a suit and red circles on his white cheeks. Yea pretty sure I peed my pants a little whenever I saw him growing up. After that, I was ALWAYS scared I was going to wake up one night and a fucking dummy was going to be standing over my bed. Just staring at me. Plotting my murder. Hell, I still worry about that from time to time and I am almost 20 god damn years old!
That creepy blank look in those wood painted on eyes probably scares me more than anything in this entire world. I do not know why or how, but they do. They have such a blank stare to them. While, at the same time somehow looking like there is something behind the eyes like a soul or something. As if they are haunted. Which by the way I know they are. They just have to be.
The only wooden doll I ever actually liked was Rex from Victorious. He was so fucking cool. How could you not like him? I mean seriously. I wanted to be him and Robbies best friend. Rex would definitely would not kill me. I would smoke a fucking bowl with rex if I could. I am not gonna lie on that one. I just feel like that would be a fun ass time. He is the only cool little Marionette doll. The rest of you scare me.
I had nightmares for years After watching that one episode of Goose-bumps. Whenever that episode would come on again I would start balling my eyes out CRYING. I was in elementary school. I was very easily scared. Even though I am still terrified of them. I always thought sock puppets were cooler. Full offense. You did NOT have the worry about them coming to life at night and stealing your life or eating you when it came to them.
My boyfriend made me watch Annabelle for the first time a few months ago. Keep in mind he is also kind of scared of dolls (because who isn’t). I thought it was funny, but I also wanted to run away the entire time. My parents thought we were fighting because all they heard was me screaming at the top of my longs with fear. They laughed and said “makes sense” when I had told them what had happened. That day I promised I am never watching Annabelle while it is dark outside and I do not have my anxiety meds.
I feel like being scared of you creepy haunted dolls is very normal. I mean seriously. What kid would not be scared of those dolls? You were either terrified from them, thought they were cool or wondered if it was Pinocchio. I do not think I have met one person that falls in anything but those three categories.
To all the Ventriloquists out there, y’all got my full respect. Y’all work with those dummy’s all day long. It really is a mystery how y’all do not piss your pants everytime they move because I know I probably would. I wish I was kidding. Also it is really cool how y’all make them talk and it looks like you guys are not talking. However, it could be because you are not talking and they’re actually small wooden humans. Just like I thought. I would believe it at this point. I mean they come alive in everything thats on television and well there is the movie ANNABELLE.
In some movies or tv shows they even turn into actual people. There was one episode of Goosebumps where the doll took over the girls life and turned her into a doll. Like, how is that not scary. Like seriously. What the fuck. This are movies for CHILDREN? I mean I get it because I have always loved horror movies, but like dolls are just different. I do not know how else to fraze it. They are little soul snatchers that will ruin your life. Its that simple.
So, next time any one of you sees one of those puppet dolls remember to turn the other fucking way. You will regret getting close to them.
Disrespectfully, Maddy Hess
